Sober Brawl Splits the Prohibition Party.

Seems that getting the presidential nomination of a political party that doesn’t stand a snowball’s chance would be enough to drive you to drink. Unless it’s the Prohibition Party. Yes, Prohibition -- 18th Amendment, Volsted Act, no alcohol at all.

But the fight over the top spot on the obscure political party’s ticket was so fierce; it split the splinter party into two factions -- each with its own presidential and vice-presidential nominees.
While most Americans are focused on non-issues like Vietnam service records of the two major party candidates, the Prohibition Party was torn with real non-issues. They were fighting like drunken sailors over campaign buttons and whose living room would host the national convention.

The 2000 elections -- which gave the rest of us plenty of cause to drink -- were the party’s worst showing in 130 years. The Prohibition Party got only 208 votes nationwide. Well, actually only in one state. That’s the only ballot they made.

Knowing When to Say When

Heading their ticket was National Chairman Earl Dodge. He’d been the on the ticket seven times since 1976. Each election had turned out worse than the last.

This had led to the creation of a dissident faction within the Prohibition Party. Led by members of the Partisan Prohibition Historical Society, they charged Dodge was running the party as a tool to benefit his business -- selling campaign buttons. This faction expended massive time, money, and energy to depose Dodge and take over the political apparatus that had garnered roughly one vote for every 1.3 million Americans in the last election.

The Old, "Hold-the-National-Convention-at-My-House" Trick

Ahhhh…but the plot thickens. Dodge cut off his opponents by holding the party’s national convention in his living room. Securing the nomination once again.

Meanwhile, his opponents had nominated GENE AMONDSON of Alaska. Amondson earns a living in show business. He’s a Billy Sunday impersonator. Billy Sunday being a fire and brimstone turn of the last century evangelist. Amondson is especially proud of his rendition of Sunday’s “Sermon Against Alcohol.” Obviously.

Now, both sides were poised to go to court. In what promised not to be the biggest political lawsuit since the Florida election, the sides apparently sobered up to the fact that the court case would probably be more expensive than their entire campaign budget. Fortunately for both sides, they stumbled into a new solution.

The “Concerns of the People Party” couldn’t find anyone who wanted their nomination, so they offered it to Amondson. He took it.

Crisis averted, two unknown parties both now stagger out into the world, drunk on power, looking for a state or two to put them on the ballot.