Turns out the feds have branded millions of us with a "terrorist rating."
They've been keeping tabs on our travels -- and our travel preferences. They've kept tabs on the number of one-way tickets we've bought, how we paid for them, our seat preferences, and the kind of meal preferences on our flights.
They've even been tapping into our driving records: "You in a heap o' trouble boy. You were doing five miles over the speed limit. Why do you speeders hate freedom?"
Apparently not wanting to sit in the middle seat, not wanting the worst food offered on the flight, and getting caught taking a "California rolling stop" at the stop sign makes us more of a terrorist risk.
Gotta figure the NSA's been busy tapping phones of stand up comics everywhere for bad mouthing airline food. Seinfeld alone could bump bin Laden off the FBI's ten most wanted list!
On top of that, we're not allowed to find out about our terrorist rating, nor challenge it -- and it's kept on file for 40 years. Now, sit back and enjoy the trip. (AP)