Chest Out, Soldier!

It appears the military is breaking out its…ahem…'big guns.'

Enlist now and get a boob job!

Service members and their families can now get breast enhancements or other plastic surgery.  Thanks to the US taxpayer.

The New Yorker magazine reports that people serving in all four branches of the military can get the free surgery.  Though patients have to supply their own implants.  The magazine quotes an Army spokeswoman as saying, "the surgeons have to have someone to practice on."

And they've been practicing on a good number of people. 

Between 2000 and 2003, military doctors performed 496 boob jobs.  They did 1,361 liposuction surgeries, too.  In the first three months of this year, they've done 60 breast enlargements and 260 liposuctions.Excuse me, I just have to get something off my chest.Maybe it's a case of  “if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.”

Back in 2002, a Senate Hearing revealed that a one-time Department ofDefense employee used his government credit card to pay for his girlfriend's breast enlargements.  Actually, she was never really his girlfriend, just a waitress he met at a Jacksonville, Florida, “Hooters.”  She dumped him after he spent $35,000 in taxpayers' money trying to win her over. 

Good thing it wasn't his own money. 

Now, he could just get her to enlist. 

Actually, none of the military's recruiting literature mentions the free breast enhancements.

But think how the enemy might react - staring down a pair of loaded thirty-eights.